Monday, December 26, 2011

Thursday, December 22, 2011

"The one thing that doesn’t abide by majority rule is a person’s conscience.”
-Atticus Finch, To Kill a Mockingbird

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

I wanted to talk to you but I didn't have anything to say.
So, I talked about how fat I'm getting. The truth is, I don't really care.
And I talked about clothes. I don't care about that either.
And I talked about what I plan on doing on my birthday. Don't care. I only pretend that I do.
I guess there's only one thing I've ever cared about.

Sunday, December 18, 2011

I saw some beautiful things I'd have liked to buy today but didn't.
-a thin marcazite bracelet
-2 pair of earings
-a pair of toerings

Now I know how I never had money even when I did.

Category 1: Amrapali
Category 2: If it's shiny, it's sellable
Category 3: Nirabhara Sundari

Saturday, December 17, 2011


I'm coming off as sweet.
I guess there are worse things to come off as.

Friday, December 16, 2011

My How Well Do You Know Me Quiz

Who's my current celebrity crush?
Gerard Butler
Tony Hawk
Robert Downey Jr.
Salman Khan

Which is my favourite book?
Twilight 1
Twilight 2
Twilight 3
To Kill a Mockingbird

What's my favourite form of exercise?
Rock climbing

Who's my favourite author?
Stephanie Myers
Gorgette Heyer
Terry Prachett
Isaac Asimov

How tall am I?

What do my girlfriends and I talk about the most?
Getting fat
Getting fat and men

What's my newest nickname?
Princess Anastasia

Which is my favourite band?
Dashboard Confessional
Hootie and the Blowfish
Lounge Piranha

Who do I expect to pass this quiz but I actually think is going to fail?!

What kind of music do I like?
Commercial House
Alternative Rock

What's my least favourite form of exercise?
Rock Climbing

What's my favourite song?
I'm sexy and I know it
Choli ke peeche kya hai
Crash into me
Una Paloma Blanca

Which place in the world would I choose to live in?
Cinque Terre

Who is my superhero crush?
The Hulk (size matters)
Green Goblin

What religious roots do I claim?
Syrian Christian
Roman Catholic

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

My Mother

She wants to go out and buy some nice candles.
Guess why?
In case she dies, she'd like equal candles for her funeral and we might not have the time to go out and buy some once she's dead.
You need to have the funeral immediately, she informs me.
"Aren't you being a little premature?" I want to know.
"Oh!I'm not going to die." she exclaims.
Turns out she's taken out a whole life policy and is planning on waiting for it to mature before she knocks off. However, you never know what God's plans are and hence, the candles.
Also, a note to my sister Jo who is the beneficiary of the above mentioned policy.
That money is for funeral expenses. That's right. The remaining, after that, is for you.
My Father's got one too.

Category 1: My mother.
Category 2: Planning ahead?
The are three places that I fell in love with.
The first was Gokarna. For the place.
The second was Nainital. For a person.
The third was Pondicherry. For the food.
I find myself being kind now and again. Reluctantly so.

Monday, December 12, 2011

Saturday, December 10, 2011


If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream and not make dreams your master,
If you can think and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it all on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them, "Hold on!"

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And which is more you'll be a Man, my son!

Rudyard Kipling (1865-1936)

Category: An exception, a rule
She wouldn't let me hand over a glass of water to a poor, drunk man.
She insisted I give it to one of the boys who then gave it to him.
What could he have possibly done to me?
What could I have possibly done for him?


Category: Ex-friends

Friday, December 09, 2011

A man runs around the street shouting emergency, emergency at the cops. A woman riding a tvs pushes her over large helmet back from her face as she rides. A boy touches my hand, subtly.

Tuesday, December 06, 2011

"Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing,
there is a field. I'll meet you there."
- Jalal ad-Din Muhammad Rumi
The cuts are never clean.
Always jagged, open.
Nothing like a spoonful of 'Aunty Susan'* to help the medicine go down.

Category 1: Maya/Medicine
Category 2: Humour

*Aunty Susan- Maya's nursery principal
Goa ready

Category 1: Guess what about me is?
Category 2: :)


It's almost as if I get one more clue as to what it's about every time I have one of them.
Normally I wake up with only a sense of what's happening. I never remember. I watch the blinking blue light of the wireless reflecting off the woodwork for a bit before I go back to sleep.
Last night was different. I didn't wake up. I only dreamed.
So far all I know is that I've done something terribly wrong. Making amends means I could die.
In the dream last night, I was making amends.

Category: Wake up, it'll be ok

Monday, December 05, 2011

Maids: An update

It was time for Megan to get ready for school. My mom was trying to get her to put her socks on but every time she tried, Megan would cry that it was hurting her. Turns out there was sand in her socks.
When Selvy(you all know Selvy. The thief.) came to work, she got a talking to and instructions that when socks are washed, they need to end up sandless. Capish?
Later in the day, my mom knocks on my door asking if I've seen Selvy.
No, I haven't. Maybe she's in the toilet upstairs.
An hour later, she still hasn't come back.
Later in the evening when she returned to possibly explain why she had walked off in a huff, she was politely told to bugger off.
The good news? Shalu's back.

Shalu-The best maid with the worst attendance.

Friday, December 02, 2011

I always thought that I was like rock. And everybody else, like water.
But I think it may be the other way around.
So unrequired.

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

-Are you going to get me a scooter for my birthday?
-A shiny one??

(Maya-Age 3)

Category 1: If it's shiny, it's sellable
Category 2: How women make their buying decisions

Monday, November 28, 2011

I don't trust my knee not to buckle when I jump.

Category: Trust issues

Sunday, November 27, 2011


Category: Slow death

Saturday, November 26, 2011

"Il était une fois un petit prince qui habitait une planète à peine plus grande que lui, et qui avait besoin d'un ami..."
-Le Petit Prince, Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

Now that I can understand, I understand.
I love Ander Pander like anything.

Category 1: Ex friends
Category 2: <3
I hate liars.

One day I'll hate myself.

Friday, November 25, 2011

The trick is to read the instructions.

Category 1: Loraspora
Category 2: Advice
Type: Free

Thursday, November 24, 2011

I woke up in a good mood.
Only to find out that the thief is back working for us :/
I've now been instructed to lock everything that can be
And also not to talk loudly about her thieving ways.
"We shouldn't give her ideas." my Mother says.

Category: Selvy, the new/old maid
Mood: :/

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

I don't believe in anything.


What he wants to know is this. If I wasn't funded then what was the point of me going to New York? I tried explaining but now I have a headache. I know this headache now, it's all too familiar. It's the communication breakdown headache and it hurts like hell. Physically. And it lingers the longest. So now I have to dissect it or I can't go on with my day. He's thinking money. He's thinking bottomlines. He's thinking if they didn't pay for my ticket then what's the big deal. He doesn't understand. He doesn't see that money is just pieces of paper only worth the things you can buy with it. Like a ray of light invisible until it falls on something worth seeing.

The one thing you wrote that I love.
Still In Transit: Papel

It was a tough decision but someone had to do it.

Category 1: Laptop background
Category 2: Drool
I only talk about stopping to care. I never actually do.

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Monday, November 21, 2011


I was thinking about that word today. About how it was the only way I could possibly be to survive whatever it is I'm surviving. Everything I see is ugly. And now, a friend tells me that's what he's being.

Category: Ugliness everywhere
There's this child who messages me.
I find it tedious to respond, so I don't.
I've just found myself in the position of that child.
I dreamed again. The traces of it in my memory indicate that there was violence. Overwhelming it all, futility.
Looking glass script.
Idealistic / Realistic

The Ides of March

Slow. Serious. Interesting.

Category: Movie review
The path of least resistance.

Sunday, November 20, 2011

We have no maid.
Today I did a load of washing, cleaned my bathroom and I'm going to be doing some more housework post this post.
It makes me realize how insufficient I am. How convenience has made me water fat.

Category: Rectifying that
Wondering: Who gets the reference
The best things in life are either
A) free or
B) very, very expensive
There's only one reason I come out.
So I guess I'm being antisocial too.

Mode: Antisocial
There's a saying (translated):
Stuck between a tiger and a wall.
It's hard to care. It's hard not to.

Saturday, November 19, 2011

A cupboard full of clothes and nothing to wear

About: Eliminating the need to think about something like that
More than I could possibly ever have.

Thursday, November 17, 2011

Rome wasn't built in a day.

About: Comments on my ability to saw straight
Category: Carpentry lessons
Be kind.
When I was a child, I never understood the implication of this question.
'Own house?'

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

I wonder if anyone can hear the story I haven't told.
It isn't my story, but it's there. Very much so.
The stories that aren't told.

Here's one.
Imagine the possibility that this world is virtual. It's something made up by someone. It's one tiny thing among a million.
Imagine looking down at the millions. And among them you pick out the world. Tiny. And look closer. There's someone hoarding their gold.

How much is it worth?
I 25% contributed to making something beautiful today.
Maybe we'll have a picture soon.

Mood: Happy
'Do you have a boyfriend? Lover? Married?', she asked.

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Write less, learn more.
Star crossed.
The world's going to end, we're all going to die.
If that doesn't put things in perspective, nothing will.
Stop being so sad. And all you happy people, you're going to die too.
Heh :)
You can do anything you want in the mean time. Anything.
So go do it.

Category: Stop being sad
She woke me up this morning to run and she laughed when I cracked jokes about people on the street, her and myself.

Category: :)
I'm turning into you and you, me.
You're remembering to eat your meals and I'm forgetting.
“I’ve learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow.

I’ve learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights.

I’ve learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents, you’ll miss them when they’re gone from your life.

I’ve learned that making a “living” is not the same thing as making a “life.”

I’ve learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance.

I’ve learned that you shouldn’t go through life with a catcher’s mitt on both hands; you need to be able to throw something back.

I’ve learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision.

I’ve learned that even when I have pains, I don’t have to be one.

I’ve learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone.

People love a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back.

I’ve learned that I still have a lot to learn.

I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

― Maya Angelou

(taken from a rabbit. a yellow one)
I'm not unhappy. In fact, I'll even concede that I'm a relatively happy person.
And yet, I always feel as if I've got this melancholy air about me.
What's that about?

Monday, November 14, 2011

There's a saying.
'Strike while the iron is hot.'

She drew stars on our hands because that's what we are.
The misery, as it were, stemmed form fatigue, cold and boredom.

Status: OK
The only thing I want to do and I'm doing exactly that is be miserable.
I suppose lack makes people steal.
But mostly I think it's greed.
Matt Bomer-GAY

Category: Fail

Sunday, November 13, 2011

Thinking about you makes me happy.

Saturday, November 12, 2011

A part of me is wondering why I'm having this conversation.
What paralyzes is fear and what makes fear is ignorance. When we learn, we no longer fear. This is tar and this is what it does. (Read book for context.) This is the world and this is what it does, and this is what we can do with it.
King Rat, China Miéville

Friday, November 11, 2011

beaten up.broken down
move on, faster and with more confidence in yourself
I'm not exactly sure what to do with compulsive liars.
Although, my first logical impulse is to have nothing to do with them at all.
If anybody wanted a universal theory,
I'm going with Natural Selection.
In Time.
Matt Bomer

Category: Movie review

Bonus: Some gems from the movie :)
-Is it stealing if it's stolen?
-For a few to be immortal, many must die.
-Only the strongest survive.
-Darwin's birthday.
-You must come from time.
I was screaming for attention. But I'm not anymore.

Thursday, November 10, 2011

On recovery mode now.

Category: Stupid virus
I forgot to raise my guard.
I'm not handling very well.
I'm not being handled very well.

Nitin explains Fishing

When you fish, you need bait.
Once the fish bites you don't just yank it out of the water.
You let it swim for a while, so it thinks that everything is fine.
Then bring it out slowly, slowly, without a struggle.

Category 1: Relationship advice
Category 2: Fish/Bicycles
Bean Stalk
Fried chicken and fried potatoes for lunch.
I just love it when my Dad cooks.

Category: As unhealthy as we can be
1/8th there
A little disconnect is also nice sometimes.
Bursting at the seams.

Wednesday, November 09, 2011

I'm trying to be disciplined. I'm averse to even the sound of that word.
All I have to do is wake up, exercise the leg, run.
I don't want to be a cripple.

Activities have never really interested me. People. Always people.

Tuesday, November 08, 2011

I've spent a quarter of today giving the car for servicing and trying to get rid of a virus on the big computer.
Oh joy!
What I love about guys is that they like technical things.
They make my world go round.

Category: <3
I got my medical degree from Google.
Relearnt walking, tried learn busing, gave up, caved in and took the auto I'd been trying very hard to boycott back home.
I wish I knew what I've left unfinished.
I wish I knew why it was so important.

Monday, November 07, 2011

I wasn't entirely displeased when Megan told me that I was Princess Anastasia.
Except, Laura has just informed me that 'Princess Anastasia ' is Cinderella's ugly step sister.
Gee thanks, Megan.
All very interesting.

Category: Pavlov's dog
You snooze, you lose.

About 1: Stealing chocolate from Maya
About 2: Going to hell
Joanne says people project their own insecurities on to you.
They make you the unwitting object, while all you would have been doing was sitting around, oblivious.

-Why are you making that face? I look funny, don't I?
=No you don't. I wasn't making a face.
-Yes, you were.
=No, I wasn't. That's just my face.
-No, it's not.
etc. etc.
I hate running but running saved someone. So I'm going to do it.
I read like anything when I can.
-Kan Castle
I think I must explain. I can only look in one direction. Forward. Some people ask why that's a problem. I sprained my neck. It's literal. I'm miserable.
I know it was me who called it over.
The day isn't going well so far.

Category: Having to wake up at 8 to play chauffeur
Sleep enfolds me, like love.

Friday, November 04, 2011

Beauty is Freedom.
The only thing I was guilty of was jumping to a logical conclusion.
Chrome is so nice.
It's insufficiency completes it.

Assignment Blues

October is always marred by having to speed-read assignments and by much other paper-work. At this time of year, my thoughts turn, inevitably, to Deepak Bhat Dundi and the memorable ambush he made on my life some two years ago.

Deepak Bhat preferred to sit in the last bench of my class and said very little while I tried to get his class-mates interested in Marjane Satrapi's account of her childhood or in the notions of female independence that Mills and Boon seemed to promote. I valued an assignment of his a little later.My determination to slash and burn through the evening simply disappeared after i read what he had written.

You will first notice that he has an extremely teetery relationship with the language. After you read the piece, you may also understand why I gave him 9.5 out of 10 and spent the rest of the evening in conversation with a bottle of Absolut

Monsoon Memories

by Deepak Bhat

I read a report in a newspaper, heading saying that "Heavy Rains in Uttara Kannada District". I was very curious to know how much water was flowing in Kokkar Streem and Bedti River. So I immediately called on my house but I heard a voice saying "the number you have called is under repair". I tried again and heard the same voice. This is very common in Malnad area. Most of the time during this season there is no electricity and the phones do not work because of trees falls that damage the electrical and phone pholes.

I loved it when there was no electricity in the night during the rainy season because my parents won't force me to do home work or ead text book. I could sit front of hodtki with my grandfather--hodtki is a type of dryer used for drying coarse rug. He always tells me a lot of stories there most of them are very interesting especially Brahma Rakshasa story, Punyakoti stories, a few ghost stories, and stories from Ramayana and Mahabharata. In the bonfire of the hodtki, we used to bake jackfruit seeds. My grandfather used to hole the seeds and then put it in the fire otherwise it would burst in the heat. When it is raining a lot it is a very joyfull moment sitting in front of the fire of the hodtke enjoying the baked jackfruit seed, jackfruit papad and cashewnut. The process of baking cashew in the fire is very intresting.While baking the cashewnut, it gives very beautiful scattered flames and different crackling sounds. Sometimes it sprays the hot oil with fire.

Early in the morning from 6 o' clock my mother starts waking me up because I have to walk 3 kilometres to reach the school. Finally I get of the bed only after 15-20 minutes. After leaving the bed my first work was watching the sky to see if it is cloudy or not and then to the news on AIR Dharvad if they announce the possibility of heavy rains in Uttara Kannada district within 24 hours and celebrate as my father would says no need to go to school today.

During the school days Mahadeva was my close friend. He was very good at catching fish (i.e. without any tools). Every Saturday afternoon and Sunday we used to go catch fish and crabs and also play in the slush of paddy fields. I was not able to catching even single fish but Mahadeva was catching the fish and crab so easily. he put his hand in a deep hole upto his elbow to catch crab. Once a big crab almost a palmsized cut his fingertip.

During the rainy season Mahadeva and me used build mud dams to small channels of water within an hour it collapses and we enjoyed the seeing of it collapsing and a huge amount of water flowing out of it. We used to imagine this as stories where LTTE terrorist attacking dams and demolish them. (i used to read in newspaper that govt was giving protection to Supa Dam from LTTE).

We used to make paper boats and used to put red ants on the boat and leave the boats on the streems. The ants were moving here and there on the boat searching for way to escape from the floating paper boat. Some jumped into the water and started to swimming and few climbed on to the blades of grass partially touching the streem water.

On the way to schoool we used to see lots of dead snakes, frogs and millipads on the tar roads. During the time of crossing the roads those animals are dying due to the vehicles which are moving on them. Those fresh decaying flesh of those beings mixed with water give a smell resembling the smell of iron rods of KSRTC bus seats. Green vine snakes are common during the rainy season. We used to catch them bare hands and thrown them on some plants on the way to home after the school. We used to take the forest route in search of wild mushrooms.

In the forest we find a lot of differently coloured and different types of mushrooms. Mahadeva told me that only 2 types of mushrooms are edible and rest are poisonous.

Now again monsoon is started, water from the new rains are flowing in Kokkar Streem and bedti river. A new vine snake waiting for a new frog. My grandfather is putting new firewood to hodtki fire. New rain-water is evaporating from the coarse rug. A new crab making new hole in paddy field. it is raining even in Bangalore. But it is not a new rain, it looks like last year's rain and the year before the last. Without the smell of fresh soil, without the cool soil slush, without vine snake, without the frogs song, without hodtki fire and jackfruit seed, how can it be new? Then why am I living in Bangalore? I don't know and I don't have an answer.


Thursday, November 03, 2011

I'd just rather that no one felt left out. I didn't feel the need to explain that there. But here I am, explaining. I suppose because here, where there's no context, everything goes.
Sometimes, you leave me feeling uneven.
When I lived there, I used to wonder; if something happened to me, how long would it be before someone realised.

Category: Isolate
I realised how little I like talking today.
And yet.

-Walkingin Memphis, Marc Cohn

Category: Something for everyone.

Category 1: Oscar Wilde
Category 2: <3 (how can you not?)
Be curious, not judgmental.
-Walt Whitman
So here's a list of books I've bought but haven't read yet. What should I start with?
-The Tesseract-Alex Garland
-My autobiography or The Story of my Experiments with Truth- M. K. Gandhi
-The Remains of the Day-Kazuo Ishiguro
-Possession- A. S. Byatt
-A Fine Balance- Rohinton Mistry (half read, but it made me really sad)
-The Millenium Series- Larsson
-The Colour Purple- Alice Walker
-The Coma-Alex Garland
-King Rat-China Mieville
-Pappilon-Henri Charrière (which I've gifted away but which I think I'll take back)

Category: Where do I begin?

The 2 favourites in the running are, Alex Garland and China Mieville.

Wednesday, November 02, 2011

Tuesday, November 01, 2011

Sometimes life hands you peanuts.
What the hell do you do with peanuts?
I'd like a go to person shortcut on my phone too.

Category: Sheily

Monday, October 31, 2011

Sunday, October 30, 2011

I study French. I'm not always sure why, but I do.
So in my attempt to improve, I took the advice of a link that was advertised at French class and signed up.
Here are some of the emails I received on signing up. Funny, naive, outrageous.
The perfectly normal ones, I've opted to keep to myself.

Joseph: He's planning a trip to India and wants to know if I'd like to accompany him to Bombay and Delhi.
Why yes, Joseph, I'd love that!

That's Guillaume (no image). He'd like to marry me.

There's Bruno, who if I'm not mistaken, thinks I'm Pakistani and wants to sell me something.

And finally, Jean Christophe. He claims he's a hot air balloon pilot.He's going to be visiting and is searching for a place to stay for a couple of months. The rent shouldn't be too high. Anyone?

Category: Never miss an opportunity

Saturday, October 29, 2011

That was the best.

Category : Kowloon
You know what I think is actually at the top of the food chain?

Friday, October 28, 2011

Maya:Pappa, How old are you?
Pappa:I'm 6 years old.
Maya: Yes. You have big hands. High five!


Category: Jamie Oliver (aww)

Thank you Nolito!

I wonder what it is that makes you a trophy.
I'd like to think that it was your mind.

Category: An opinion, a difference of opinion
2 creepy guys, 1 asshole.
I think I came off more or less unscathed in the grander scheme of things.

About me: Not that unlucky

Thursday, October 27, 2011

That's 'cause they're all about where people come from.
The only thing that's important is where somebody's going.

Public Enemies
A regular Good Samaritan aren't you?
I found myself. I lost you.
He had the slowest bike
But he was the fastest rider

Category 1: Mahanya
Category 2: Skill

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Megan is screaming loudly at the world to stop.
I am too. In my head.

Happy Diwali
I love about us Indians, that we celebrate everything. We take the best out of a festival and make it our own. It doesn't matter what religion we were to being with. The mithai and lights for Diwali, the biryani for Eid and the presents and fruitcake for Christmas.

Category: I love my India
In those few minutes, nothing else exists.
I wonder if that's what love feels like.

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

You need a license to buy a dog, to drive a car - hell, you even need a license to catch a fish. But they'll let any butt-reaming asshole be a father.
-Keanu Reeves (Parenthood)

Sunday, October 23, 2011

I love everything, the over confidence, the flamboyance, the cockiness. All of it.

What happens in A1 stays in A1

[For the family I barely know. <3]
He is his father. The same smile. The same charm. Not the same temper, thankfully.

Category: Eternity

Saturday, October 22, 2011

“We are all worms, but I do believe that I am a glow worm.”
-Winston Churchill
I hate being ignored and I like being bored even less.
My towel smells questionably like chocolate!

Category: Grr

Thursday, October 20, 2011

Tama: Help! Help! Save me!
Jo: Are you in danger? Are you in trouble?
Tama: Save me, I'm in Bangalore.

Category: ahahaha :)
Tama-Age 3
Jo-The mamma

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Chapter 5

What if she doesn't want to be found? She's careful and hard to trace but what if someone finds her because of me. What if, somewhere, she slipped and I was the one who opened the gateway to hell?

I've taken the reading list off. But don't fret. Here's something else to entertain your lovely selves. An extract from 2006.

'What do you see?' asked the girl. She looked about nine but when you looked at her eyes she might have been nine thousand or ninety thousand even.
'It hurts', he said, ignoring her question and rubbing his hip.
'It's your own fault. You should learn to land better. Like me', she smirked. 'Now what do you see?'
'I see a woman', he said sulkily. 'She's moving across the world'.
'Anything else?'
'I see another one. Looks like she's shaking her fist. At a man. Nothing unusual about that'. His black eyes glared in her direction.
'Don't be a baby Chaos', said Life with all the authority of an older sibling. 'I'm older and you have to listen to me'.
'Girls'. He grumbled to himself.
A comment here, a snide remark there. The worst, an implication and your incapacity to confront it. The smallest thing can sometimes throw the most balanced of us off.

I'm just saying. The only person who gets to assess you, is you.

I make blanket assumptions about people, knowing fully well that that's all that they are.

Category: Redemption
I'm not sure if I'm toeing the line a little too much here.

Caution: Be careful
Every time I look at your online resume I think about what a beautiful person you are.
You make me smile :)
I'd share it here but I don't know if you'd want that.

Category: Bison

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

I'm not sure if I have a heart of gold, steel(stainless) or stone.

Monday, October 17, 2011

Note to self (get act together)

The last post was supposed to be a note to myself. Sort of like an organizer, a planner. That clearly didn't work out. Here goes nothing.
-Presentation (l'histoir du Louvre)
-Kancastle (tax)
-Exercise (leg)
-Stitching (hemming homework)
-Companies (resume)
-French (syntax)
-Violin (second position)
-Cupboard (clean out)

Category: Note to self
I'm relaxed, I'm occupied, I'm disturbed.
I can't justify the feeling.
The feeling that makes me just want to kick back and read.It's unacceptable to just do that.
I also want to colour, study, talk, climb, dance.
I also want to work. I also want to love.
I seem okay, to myself but a part of me knows that I'm not.

The cycle is vicious.

Category: If you can't break it, become it

Sunday, October 16, 2011

In my dreams, the world comes tumbling down.
There is no rest for the wicked.


Category: Adrian
There is comfort in singularity. Singularity of thought.
Your actions speak louder than any words could.
Bigger is better.

Category: Camera lenses

Saturday, October 15, 2011

Nothing to lose. Nothing to prove.
I've started having the dreams again.

About me: Slightly disturbed
I respond better to directness than deviousness.

Friday, October 14, 2011

Q) If you were an animal what would you be?
A) Human


Thursday, October 13, 2011

She told me that she was only telling me this because I was almost like family.
She advised me to say a small prayer in my heart, every time, before I started something new.
I've never been terribly religious. In fact religious people are somewhat scary.
Still, it never hurt to pray.

Category: For those who still can, there is comfort in prayer

Wednesday, October 12, 2011


Category: About me

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Go to this place in your head where it's calm.
Block the world out.

Category 1: It'll be ok
Category 2: Megan, lessons
To shut the infernal alarm off every morning, I have to drag myself to the end of my bed and through madly protesting eyes that refuse to cooperate, figure out the disable button on it. It tears the fibre of my soul.

Category 1: Sleep is sacred
Category 2: Wake up, it'll be ok
Would you give up being interesting
To be free?

Category: Never
Have I mentioned recently how awesome my sister is?

Category 1: Joanne Ninan
Category 2: <3

Monday, October 10, 2011

I see what I see
I do what I dream

-Megan Sitara (age 5)
If no one saw it,
then it didn't happen.

Category : Fallacies and truth are sometimes the same thing
I hope you do end up coming.

Category: Goa
age is a number. age is a number. age is a number


Category: Thank you for that
Tomorrow's not going to be a good day. No.
Sleep deprived ones never are.
Real life isn't like the movies.
But it's still so much fun :)

Category: I don't want to miss a thing
I've made this.. this space, a little less findable.
Not impossible to find, just more difficult.
Like a secret. Or a secret garden.

How to get there: Cross the street, enter the Pizza hut building, climb up some stairs, then down, then out the other side and you'll find yourself in old Bangalore. Turn left, enter a gate, pass a house whose windows you can look into at which you'll say, I'm going to marry their son and heir (except I think he's a teenaged kid), climb up some stairs, turn left and you're there :)

Category 1: Bangalore, hardcore
Category 2: Kanfoundit
"Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much, or berate yourself either. Your choices are half chance. So are everybody else's."
-Mary Schmich

Strive to be happy.

Category 1: Don't kill me, :D
Category 2: Ahahaha

Sunday, October 09, 2011

If we'd been destined to have a song. This would be it.

Category: Por Una Cabeza, Carlos Gardel / Guy Bergeron

Saturday, October 08, 2011

This is right, this is wrong, this is fun to watch
The closets, beds and dungeons are in your head.

Category: Skeletons

Friday, October 07, 2011

Have I ever talked about how awesome my mom is?
Well she is.

Category: Awesome mom (in case you missed it in the actual post)
A relationship trace through blogger. Damn the internet.

Ahahaha :)

Thursday, October 06, 2011

It didn't occur to me to wonder whether I minded or not until he asked me if I did.
It turns out, I did.


Sunday, October 02, 2011

If you can't walk through slush, jump it.
Or get an Avinash to carry you over.
Either way :)

Category: Little Maya's life lesson for today
To be in control of your environment rather than let it control you.

Category 1: Parkour
Category 2: The ability to adapt
Category 3: I wrote a sidey article on it, hence..
Category 4: I say, get a life lesson out of this, if that's your deal
Hard core.

Category: About me

Saturday, October 01, 2011

If it's shiny, it's sellable.
-Marl and Kan
Q: Does the universe really conspire?
A: Some days.

Sunday, September 25, 2011

Don't miss opportunities.

Category: Note to self
All I wanted to do was buy those books and read them.
That's all.

Category: Inability
I'm still sad.

Friday, September 23, 2011

If you positively hate something, I'm going to say, you shouldn't have to do it.

Monday, September 19, 2011

I'm trying to understand if I have an aptitude for math.
I was quite upset today.
A whole menagerie's coming down.

Category: In unrelated news

Desiderata - Max Ehrmann

Go placidly amid the noise and the haste,

and remember what peace there may be in silence.

As far as possible, without surrender,

be on good terms with all persons.

Speak your truth quietly and clearly;

and listen to others,

even to the dull and the ignorant;

they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons;

they are vexatious to the spirit.

If you compare yourself with others,

you may become vain or bitter,

for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.

Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.

Keep interested in your own career, however humble;

it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs,

for the world is full of trickery.

But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;

many persons strive for high ideals,

and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection.

Neither be cynical about love,

for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment,

it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years,

gracefully surrendering the things of youth.

Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.

But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.

Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline,

be gentle with yourself.

You are a child of the universe

no less than the trees and the stars;

you have a right to be here.

And whether or not it is clear to you,

no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God,

whatever you conceive Him to be.

And whatever your labors and aspirations,

in the noisy confusion of life,

keep peace in your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,

it is still a beautiful world.

Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.

Saturday, September 17, 2011

I realize, a year later, that you've stopped talking to me.

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Stand up straight. Look your audience in the eye. That will take you far.
-paraphrased from The Historian

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Preparation is half the run.
Half the battle, half the fun.

Category: Over prepared / Ever prepared / Never prepared


So I realized that I didn't actually skip dinner.
I just ate early and promptly forgot.
AND THEN felt sorry for myself because really, how can someone go to bed without dinner?
That's just so sad.

Category 1: Shut up kettle
Category 2: Nobody should ever have to

Sunday, September 11, 2011

Starving my self to thin. Not good.

About: Skipping dinner today :/

Tuesday, September 06, 2011

Be cool.

About me: Not cool

Saturday, September 03, 2011

I am dying a slow, extremely painful death.

Category: -Day 1, Work

Friday, August 19, 2011

I try to promote the idea that friendship is over rated.
Don't get me wrong. I do truly believe that having a friend is important, essential even.
However, coming across someone who fits the criteria is rare.
I would rather be by myself, than be in name, friends with someone who didn't really make the cut.

Category: Friendship
About me: Lucky

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Delhi accents are just awesome.

Category: Stellatoes

Monday, August 08, 2011

People are being rather inconsiderate this month.

Mood: :/

Sunday, August 07, 2011

If you can't say something to someone's face then maybe, you shouldn't say it behind their back.

Category: But what about being a mangy and a gossip??

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

This language will make you a lot of money one day.
-David Kumar

Monday, July 25, 2011

How silly I feel when I hear how things are actually supposed to sound.

Category: Classic

Sunday, July 24, 2011

Law: Maya, where's your plate?
Maya: In the kitchen.
Law: Shall I check?
Maya: Don't check the balcony!!!
Law: ... Maya
Maya: I told you I put it in the kitchen no??

Category: Bowls/balconies

Saturday, July 23, 2011

There are ALWAYS options.

Thursday, July 21, 2011

Toutes les grandes personnes ont d'abord été des enfants.

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

I believe that the voices of fear, both from without and within, can only be dispelled by trusting the voice that comes from the heart. Be still and listen to it. If it speaks of love and compassion for others, for the world itself, it just might be the voice of God -- or a reasonable facsimile. If however, it snarls with fear of the unknown, fear of losing what you have or of not getting what you want, then it just might be the voice of Rupert Murdoch -- or a reasonable facsimile.

-Chuck Lorre Productions #212
-Would you rather I lied to you or was honest with you?
=Honest, obviously.

Category: Obviously

Friday, July 15, 2011

Prestige matters to me just like cleanliness does.

Category: A lot

Thursday, July 14, 2011

Saturday, July 09, 2011

I know all the best people.

Category: The best people
About me: Lucky

Thursday, July 07, 2011

I seem to be QUITE busy doing barely anything.

Monday, July 04, 2011

I don't miss going into work even a little bit.

Mood: Pretty happy

Thursday, June 30, 2011

I can't say by any stretch of imagination that my parents have ever been the best role models but from my Mother I've learned courage and tenacity and from my Father, not to take things so seriously. To live in the moment; for the day.

Category 1: Learning
Category 2: <3

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

No one wants to know what you can't do.
Just saying.

Category: Advice

Monday, June 27, 2011

Never one
Always two
Sometimes three

About me: Unlucky

Friday, June 24, 2011

I have a plan.

Category: World Domination
I love stereotypes.

Thursday, June 23, 2011

I can't say I've had a lot of things but I've definitely had love.

Mood: Happy

Monday, June 20, 2011

You fell off
The face of my world
On purpose
For someone who claims not to want kids, I find it kind of endearing that he's got the names, gender and how many down.


Saturday, June 18, 2011

I didn't BITE HER!!! she screams.

Category 1: Let's get our facts straight
Category 2: Megan

Thursday, June 16, 2011

Misses sunshine
I found this document on my computer titled 'The Plan'.
I opened it.
It was blank.

Category 1: :)
Category 2: Winging it, clearly

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

The muscle tone is coming back. I can see it.

Category: Woo hoo!

Sunday, June 05, 2011

Eyes closed. Mind open.

Sunday, May 29, 2011

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

My Mom is awesome.
My Dad too.
And my Sisters.

When I stop to ask, what were you thinking??
I know you weren't.

Monday, May 23, 2011

When you lose, don't lose yourself.

Saturday, May 21, 2011

Watching wet paint dry is more fun than hanging out with her.

Friday, May 20, 2011

Self destruct mode

Position: On

About mine: Short
Category 1: Don't talk to me I haven't taken my pain killers yet
Category 2: :P

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Maya (age 3): Kan why is there a tear in your leg?
Kan (answer avoidance tactic): Maya, why is there a tear in my leg?
Maya: Because the Doctor dyshked you there.

*dyshed like dishkyow

Background: I just had surgery on my knee

Category: <3

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

A conversation that lives in my head.
Don't assume it's you.
But it could be ;)
Let's blast it all to hell.

Monday, May 16, 2011

Throw a stone, you'll either hit a drama queen or an idiot.

Sunday, May 15, 2011

Out of all the medicines I think the pain killers are my favourite.

Monday, May 09, 2011

Q: Would you stop hanging out with someone because you were bored?
A: You know the answer to that.

About me: Loser
I led you to believe a lie
Because I don't believe you deserved to hear the truth.
Also, I didn't think it was any of your business.

Sunday, May 08, 2011

out of sight is out of touch

Wednesday, May 04, 2011

I want to be in that place where we're friends
But I don't know how
Because I don't stay friends with anyone
Who stays more than ten minutes away from me

Category: Friendship
Gonna let it slide.

-Slide, Goo Goo Dolls

Tuesday, May 03, 2011

I only remember what's important.
Trouble is,
Most things aren't.
Indian Summer
If people can't handle the truth
You should lie to them


Monday, May 02, 2011

Dodging raindrops.

Saturday, April 23, 2011

Even I can be a drama queen if the occasion calls for it.
nothing is decided.everything is in play
The ego is the first to get hit.

Thursday, April 21, 2011

You're black
Like your heart

For Gareth Hoover

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Master fear

Category: Free fall
death sleep
If you feel the need to hide something, don't do it
and conversely, if you feel the need to do something, don't hide it.
Live free.

Monday, April 18, 2011

You make your own happiness
And unhappiness

Friday, April 15, 2011

You always say, smile at life and life will smile back at you..
I say, flush that Blackberry down the toilet and we'll all smile :)

-Yellow Rabbit

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Monday, April 11, 2011

a 2 week window within which to be happy. perfectly

Saturday, April 09, 2011


Category: About me

Wednesday, April 06, 2011

Tuesday, April 05, 2011

Law: Do you remember life before the internet?
Kan: Not really.

About 1: How much I love the internet
About 2: How Google is my window to the Universe

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Hard as rock abs- 10 points

Note to boys: Play sport

Friday, March 25, 2011

Book List

Books that are lying around that I haven't read. Yet.
(Disclaimer: The following books have been given, gifted, thrust upon, suggested to, taken from others, bought by me)

-The Woods, Harlan Coben
-The Remains of the Day,Kazuo Ishiguro
-Blind Faith, Sagarika Gosh
-The Three Musketeers, Alexander Dumas
-The Laws of Manu, Manu?
-Papillon, Henri Charriere
-The Inheritance of Loss, Kiran Desai
-Silas Marner, George Elliot
-Carpe Jugulum, Terry Prachett
-Stone Cole, David Baldacci
-A Fine Balance, Rohinton Mistry
-The Story of My Experimants with Truth, M. K. Gandhi
-Possession, A. S. Byatt
-Twilight / New Moon, Stephenie Meyer
I waited for the headache to come.
It didn't.

Category: Step 1 recovery process

Thursday, March 24, 2011

Wednesday, March 23, 2011


Category: Summer 2011

Friday, March 18, 2011

I can take offense as easily as anyone.

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Sunday, March 13, 2011

I was thinking about how manner makes people seem beautiful; interesting. In people who aren't beautiful at all in the traditional sense.
It takes torture to appreciate the absence of it.

Category: Church
About me: Perverse
That's what she said.

Category 1: Jaron
Category 2: Goa
Category 3: :)

Friday, March 11, 2011

Wrong on so many levels.

Friday, February 25, 2011

They're so flat you could project a movie on their chest.

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

When my memory fails I revert to logic.

Category: Logic to the rescue!
an opinion. a difference

Friday, February 18, 2011

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

So if you don't mind, leave

It took her twenty years, but she did.
In the dream my soul; my spirit was isolate.

Category: Desolation

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Small town.
Even though
I've only ever lived in the city.

Category: About me

Monday, February 14, 2011