Tuesday, November 29, 2011

-Are you going to get me a scooter for my birthday?
-A shiny one??

(Maya-Age 3)

Category 1: If it's shiny, it's sellable
Category 2: How women make their buying decisions

Monday, November 28, 2011

I don't trust my knee not to buckle when I jump.

Category: Trust issues

Sunday, November 27, 2011


Category: Slow death

Saturday, November 26, 2011

"Il était une fois un petit prince qui habitait une planète à peine plus grande que lui, et qui avait besoin d'un ami..."
-Le Petit Prince, Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

Now that I can understand, I understand.
I love Ander Pander like anything.

Category 1: Ex friends
Category 2: <3
I hate liars.

One day I'll hate myself.

Friday, November 25, 2011

The trick is to read the instructions.

Category 1: Loraspora
Category 2: Advice
Type: Free

Thursday, November 24, 2011

I woke up in a good mood.
Only to find out that the thief is back working for us :/
I've now been instructed to lock everything that can be
And also not to talk loudly about her thieving ways.
"We shouldn't give her ideas." my Mother says.

Category: Selvy, the new/old maid
Mood: :/

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

I don't believe in anything.


What he wants to know is this. If I wasn't funded then what was the point of me going to New York? I tried explaining but now I have a headache. I know this headache now, it's all too familiar. It's the communication breakdown headache and it hurts like hell. Physically. And it lingers the longest. So now I have to dissect it or I can't go on with my day. He's thinking money. He's thinking bottomlines. He's thinking if they didn't pay for my ticket then what's the big deal. He doesn't understand. He doesn't see that money is just pieces of paper only worth the things you can buy with it. Like a ray of light invisible until it falls on something worth seeing.

The one thing you wrote that I love.
Still In Transit: Papel

It was a tough decision but someone had to do it.

Category 1: Laptop background
Category 2: Drool
I only talk about stopping to care. I never actually do.

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Monday, November 21, 2011


I was thinking about that word today. About how it was the only way I could possibly be to survive whatever it is I'm surviving. Everything I see is ugly. And now, a friend tells me that's what he's being.

Category: Ugliness everywhere
There's this child who messages me.
I find it tedious to respond, so I don't.
I've just found myself in the position of that child.
I dreamed again. The traces of it in my memory indicate that there was violence. Overwhelming it all, futility.
Looking glass script.
Idealistic / Realistic

The Ides of March

Slow. Serious. Interesting.

Category: Movie review
The path of least resistance.

Sunday, November 20, 2011

We have no maid.
Today I did a load of washing, cleaned my bathroom and I'm going to be doing some more housework post this post.
It makes me realize how insufficient I am. How convenience has made me water fat.

Category: Rectifying that
Wondering: Who gets the reference
The best things in life are either
A) free or
B) very, very expensive
There's only one reason I come out.
So I guess I'm being antisocial too.

Mode: Antisocial
There's a saying (translated):
Stuck between a tiger and a wall.
It's hard to care. It's hard not to.

Saturday, November 19, 2011

A cupboard full of clothes and nothing to wear

About: Eliminating the need to think about something like that
More than I could possibly ever have.

Thursday, November 17, 2011

Rome wasn't built in a day.

About: Comments on my ability to saw straight
Category: Carpentry lessons
Be kind.
When I was a child, I never understood the implication of this question.
'Own house?'

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

I wonder if anyone can hear the story I haven't told.
It isn't my story, but it's there. Very much so.
The stories that aren't told.

Here's one.
Imagine the possibility that this world is virtual. It's something made up by someone. It's one tiny thing among a million.
Imagine looking down at the millions. And among them you pick out the world. Tiny. And look closer. There's someone hoarding their gold.

How much is it worth?
I 25% contributed to making something beautiful today.
Maybe we'll have a picture soon.

Mood: Happy
'Do you have a boyfriend? Lover? Married?', she asked.

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Write less, learn more.
Star crossed.
The world's going to end, we're all going to die.
If that doesn't put things in perspective, nothing will.
Stop being so sad. And all you happy people, you're going to die too.
Heh :)
You can do anything you want in the mean time. Anything.
So go do it.

Category: Stop being sad
She woke me up this morning to run and she laughed when I cracked jokes about people on the street, her and myself.

Category: :)
I'm turning into you and you, me.
You're remembering to eat your meals and I'm forgetting.
“I’ve learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow.

I’ve learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights.

I’ve learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents, you’ll miss them when they’re gone from your life.

I’ve learned that making a “living” is not the same thing as making a “life.”

I’ve learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance.

I’ve learned that you shouldn’t go through life with a catcher’s mitt on both hands; you need to be able to throw something back.

I’ve learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision.

I’ve learned that even when I have pains, I don’t have to be one.

I’ve learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone.

People love a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back.

I’ve learned that I still have a lot to learn.

I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

― Maya Angelou

(taken from a rabbit. a yellow one)
I'm not unhappy. In fact, I'll even concede that I'm a relatively happy person.
And yet, I always feel as if I've got this melancholy air about me.
What's that about?

Monday, November 14, 2011

There's a saying.
'Strike while the iron is hot.'

She drew stars on our hands because that's what we are.
The misery, as it were, stemmed form fatigue, cold and boredom.

Status: OK
The only thing I want to do and I'm doing exactly that is be miserable.
I suppose lack makes people steal.
But mostly I think it's greed.
Matt Bomer-GAY

Category: Fail

Sunday, November 13, 2011

Thinking about you makes me happy.

Saturday, November 12, 2011

A part of me is wondering why I'm having this conversation.
What paralyzes is fear and what makes fear is ignorance. When we learn, we no longer fear. This is tar and this is what it does. (Read book for context.) This is the world and this is what it does, and this is what we can do with it.
King Rat, China Miéville

Friday, November 11, 2011

beaten up.broken down
move on, faster and with more confidence in yourself
I'm not exactly sure what to do with compulsive liars.
Although, my first logical impulse is to have nothing to do with them at all.
If anybody wanted a universal theory,
I'm going with Natural Selection.
In Time.
Matt Bomer

Category: Movie review

Bonus: Some gems from the movie :)
-Is it stealing if it's stolen?
-For a few to be immortal, many must die.
-Only the strongest survive.
-Darwin's birthday.
-You must come from time.
I was screaming for attention. But I'm not anymore.

Thursday, November 10, 2011

On recovery mode now.

Category: Stupid virus
I forgot to raise my guard.
I'm not handling very well.
I'm not being handled very well.

Nitin explains Fishing

When you fish, you need bait.
Once the fish bites you don't just yank it out of the water.
You let it swim for a while, so it thinks that everything is fine.
Then bring it out slowly, slowly, without a struggle.

Category 1: Relationship advice
Category 2: Fish/Bicycles
Bean Stalk
Fried chicken and fried potatoes for lunch.
I just love it when my Dad cooks.

Category: As unhealthy as we can be
1/8th there
A little disconnect is also nice sometimes.
Bursting at the seams.

Wednesday, November 09, 2011

I'm trying to be disciplined. I'm averse to even the sound of that word.
All I have to do is wake up, exercise the leg, run.
I don't want to be a cripple.

Activities have never really interested me. People. Always people.

Tuesday, November 08, 2011

I've spent a quarter of today giving the car for servicing and trying to get rid of a virus on the big computer.
Oh joy!
What I love about guys is that they like technical things.
They make my world go round.

Category: <3
I got my medical degree from Google.
Relearnt walking, tried learn busing, gave up, caved in and took the auto I'd been trying very hard to boycott back home.
I wish I knew what I've left unfinished.
I wish I knew why it was so important.

Monday, November 07, 2011

I wasn't entirely displeased when Megan told me that I was Princess Anastasia.
Except, Laura has just informed me that 'Princess Anastasia ' is Cinderella's ugly step sister.
Gee thanks, Megan.
All very interesting.

Category: Pavlov's dog
You snooze, you lose.

About 1: Stealing chocolate from Maya
About 2: Going to hell
Joanne says people project their own insecurities on to you.
They make you the unwitting object, while all you would have been doing was sitting around, oblivious.

-Why are you making that face? I look funny, don't I?
=No you don't. I wasn't making a face.
-Yes, you were.
=No, I wasn't. That's just my face.
-No, it's not.
etc. etc.
I hate running but running saved someone. So I'm going to do it.
I read like anything when I can.
-Kan Castle
I think I must explain. I can only look in one direction. Forward. Some people ask why that's a problem. I sprained my neck. It's literal. I'm miserable.
I know it was me who called it over.
The day isn't going well so far.

Category: Having to wake up at 8 to play chauffeur
Sleep enfolds me, like love.

Friday, November 04, 2011

Beauty is Freedom.
The only thing I was guilty of was jumping to a logical conclusion.
Chrome is so nice.
It's insufficiency completes it.

Assignment Blues

October is always marred by having to speed-read assignments and by much other paper-work. At this time of year, my thoughts turn, inevitably, to Deepak Bhat Dundi and the memorable ambush he made on my life some two years ago.

Deepak Bhat preferred to sit in the last bench of my class and said very little while I tried to get his class-mates interested in Marjane Satrapi's account of her childhood or in the notions of female independence that Mills and Boon seemed to promote. I valued an assignment of his a little later.My determination to slash and burn through the evening simply disappeared after i read what he had written.

You will first notice that he has an extremely teetery relationship with the language. After you read the piece, you may also understand why I gave him 9.5 out of 10 and spent the rest of the evening in conversation with a bottle of Absolut

Monsoon Memories

by Deepak Bhat

I read a report in a newspaper, heading saying that "Heavy Rains in Uttara Kannada District". I was very curious to know how much water was flowing in Kokkar Streem and Bedti River. So I immediately called on my house but I heard a voice saying "the number you have called is under repair". I tried again and heard the same voice. This is very common in Malnad area. Most of the time during this season there is no electricity and the phones do not work because of trees falls that damage the electrical and phone pholes.

I loved it when there was no electricity in the night during the rainy season because my parents won't force me to do home work or ead text book. I could sit front of hodtki with my grandfather--hodtki is a type of dryer used for drying coarse rug. He always tells me a lot of stories there most of them are very interesting especially Brahma Rakshasa story, Punyakoti stories, a few ghost stories, and stories from Ramayana and Mahabharata. In the bonfire of the hodtki, we used to bake jackfruit seeds. My grandfather used to hole the seeds and then put it in the fire otherwise it would burst in the heat. When it is raining a lot it is a very joyfull moment sitting in front of the fire of the hodtke enjoying the baked jackfruit seed, jackfruit papad and cashewnut. The process of baking cashew in the fire is very intresting.While baking the cashewnut, it gives very beautiful scattered flames and different crackling sounds. Sometimes it sprays the hot oil with fire.

Early in the morning from 6 o' clock my mother starts waking me up because I have to walk 3 kilometres to reach the school. Finally I get of the bed only after 15-20 minutes. After leaving the bed my first work was watching the sky to see if it is cloudy or not and then to the news on AIR Dharvad if they announce the possibility of heavy rains in Uttara Kannada district within 24 hours and celebrate as my father would says no need to go to school today.

During the school days Mahadeva was my close friend. He was very good at catching fish (i.e. without any tools). Every Saturday afternoon and Sunday we used to go catch fish and crabs and also play in the slush of paddy fields. I was not able to catching even single fish but Mahadeva was catching the fish and crab so easily. he put his hand in a deep hole upto his elbow to catch crab. Once a big crab almost a palmsized cut his fingertip.

During the rainy season Mahadeva and me used build mud dams to small channels of water within an hour it collapses and we enjoyed the seeing of it collapsing and a huge amount of water flowing out of it. We used to imagine this as stories where LTTE terrorist attacking dams and demolish them. (i used to read in newspaper that govt was giving protection to Supa Dam from LTTE).

We used to make paper boats and used to put red ants on the boat and leave the boats on the streems. The ants were moving here and there on the boat searching for way to escape from the floating paper boat. Some jumped into the water and started to swimming and few climbed on to the blades of grass partially touching the streem water.

On the way to schoool we used to see lots of dead snakes, frogs and millipads on the tar roads. During the time of crossing the roads those animals are dying due to the vehicles which are moving on them. Those fresh decaying flesh of those beings mixed with water give a smell resembling the smell of iron rods of KSRTC bus seats. Green vine snakes are common during the rainy season. We used to catch them bare hands and thrown them on some plants on the way to home after the school. We used to take the forest route in search of wild mushrooms.

In the forest we find a lot of differently coloured and different types of mushrooms. Mahadeva told me that only 2 types of mushrooms are edible and rest are poisonous.

Now again monsoon is started, water from the new rains are flowing in Kokkar Streem and bedti river. A new vine snake waiting for a new frog. My grandfather is putting new firewood to hodtki fire. New rain-water is evaporating from the coarse rug. A new crab making new hole in paddy field. it is raining even in Bangalore. But it is not a new rain, it looks like last year's rain and the year before the last. Without the smell of fresh soil, without the cool soil slush, without vine snake, without the frogs song, without hodtki fire and jackfruit seed, how can it be new? Then why am I living in Bangalore? I don't know and I don't have an answer.

Source: http://al-lude.livejournal.com/64374.html

Thursday, November 03, 2011

I'd just rather that no one felt left out. I didn't feel the need to explain that there. But here I am, explaining. I suppose because here, where there's no context, everything goes.
Sometimes, you leave me feeling uneven.
When I lived there, I used to wonder; if something happened to me, how long would it be before someone realised.

Category: Isolate
I realised how little I like talking today.
And yet.

-Walkingin Memphis, Marc Cohn

Category: Something for everyone.

Category 1: Oscar Wilde
Category 2: <3 (how can you not?)
Be curious, not judgmental.
-Walt Whitman
So here's a list of books I've bought but haven't read yet. What should I start with?
-The Tesseract-Alex Garland
-My autobiography or The Story of my Experiments with Truth- M. K. Gandhi
-The Remains of the Day-Kazuo Ishiguro
-Possession- A. S. Byatt
-A Fine Balance- Rohinton Mistry (half read, but it made me really sad)
-The Millenium Series- Larsson
-The Colour Purple- Alice Walker
-The Coma-Alex Garland
-King Rat-China Mieville
-Pappilon-Henri Charrière (which I've gifted away but which I think I'll take back)

Category: Where do I begin?

The 2 favourites in the running are, Alex Garland and China Mieville.

Wednesday, November 02, 2011

Tuesday, November 01, 2011

Sometimes life hands you peanuts.
What the hell do you do with peanuts?
I'd like a go to person shortcut on my phone too.

Category: Sheily