See

I don't know why everyone goes on about it as if it's a big deal. It isn't really.

Take my mother for example. 'Learn how to cook now. You'll need it for when you're married.'
Me, 'Why can't I learn then?'
She. 'Because I won't teach you then.'
Me, 'I'll ask Joanne to.'
She, 'JOANNE don't teach her how to cook when she gets married.'

Yes that was my mother. I have a lurking suspicion that she just wanted a slave donkey to chop her vegetables.

So fine, I agree to chop vegetables.

Do it this was she says. *chop* *chop* *chop chop chop* *chop chop chop chop* *chop chop*
Yes, they're done.
And not by me.

So right. Here are lots of useful thing to know about cooking.

-First of all telling hot oil that you don't like it is not going to make it stop splattering. Lowering the flame to near off will.
-Raw rice is undoubtedly the most deceptive of food. 1 1/2 cups is sufficient to feed two medium appitite women.
-Salt to taste is actually a little less than 1/2 a flat teaspoon.
-Low flame and multivitamins are your best friends.


If you didn't find any of the above useful you could always do what I did and get yourself a roomate who likes to cook and feed you.


And they say there is no God?