why simplify, when it's so much easier to just complicate things

i wonder someimes what exactly i'm doing?! i behave a certain way.and if i'm not mistaken i think there's..like this sub concious being inside of me who's trying really hard get me ocstracized from polite society.[ok not polite society in the traditional sense of the word, i don't really care about that.but polite society in my sense of the word yikes! as if i don't have enough trouble tyring to pass off as socially acceptable.as it is.i've made myself a performing monkey [uh , i really wouldn't go that far:)], of myself without even realising it. it's like what emmanuel was saying today.writing for yourself [the real writing] and writing for an audience..knowing that somebody is going to read your work,wondering if they'll like it..i guess that would apply to life too.i could behave a certain way ,just because i think someone is watching...aah..but no, i think i'd fit in better with the reverse psychology in the situation.i think i should realise that someone IS watching and therefore i should NOT behave a certain way ...aarrgh.stupid sentences...looks like my new favourite doctrine is 'why simplify, when it's so much easier to just complicate things'