Worthy Opponents

"And let that be a lesson to you Cyclop!", Ulysses shouted out as his ships left the shore. It was a mistake which he would pay for dearly. A short distance away on the beach the now-blinded-one-eyed-monster let out a bloodcurdling bellow, which his father, the lord of the seas, heard very loudly and very clearly. Ulysses was a marked man. A terrible storm picked up his ships and hurled them around the ocean for days until eventually the poor company of weary sailors were tossed onto a beautiful little island. Their ships anchored, they began exploring Dali's beach only to find a disinterested bunch of native folk sitting around, eyes glazed, eating lotuses. So they tried some o dem lotuses too. And they ate some more. And more. Until their eyes glazed over, bodies relaxed, lay back wondering where it was they were trying to head to in the first place. And finding no good reason to leave this semi-concious dreamy wonderland, Ulysses' men ate more lotuses and lay back with eyes closed and lips curled into half a smile. And that was how Lord K found them when he floated down onto the island on yet another rescue mission. "Ladies and gentlemen, respected opponents, honoured chief guests, teachers, parents, and my dear friends..", he spoke into the megaphone, "this is my island, and these are my lotuses, and you jokers are not only trespassing, but by eating them you are ruining the eco-system.." "..ruining the eco-system runing the eco-system...", the words echoed across the skies... and into the super-sensitive ears of Captain Green. "Somebody needs us!", he addressed his protege, "let's go save somebody Doctor Doom", and together they flew towards the voice.

Meanwhile Lord K was starting to enjoy himself, "The topic for today's debate..", the megaphone blasted, "should these pathetic losers be spared? Or not? I am of the opinion..." Ulysses realised the gravity of the situation. "Lord K", he implored, "Don't be so hasty, my men had no idea, let's talk about this..". "Worthy opponent", Lord K shouted into the megaphone which was one inch away from Ulysses' face. "is it your opinion that these men should be spared?". Ulysses answered, "Er.. yes..but...", Lord K, turned his back to him addressing a captive audience which had suddenly appeared on the beach, "Respected judges, my worthy opponent feels that these men should be spared..."
All at once Captain Green and Doctor Doom swooped down on the scene, "What's the problem Lord K?". "The problem my dear friends", said Lord K still speaking into the megaphone, "is that these men, in their hurry to reach Ithaca where Penelope awaits their arrival, have forgotten about the hand that feeds them". Ulysses little confoos now. "and so I decided to remind them about a little thing called maya", he said pointing towards the sea where Venus was rising from the foam projecting lotuses onto the land, and suddenly the images changed and there was a woman washing clothes, and they changed again and bats were flying into the night sky, and Ulysses understood now what his duty was.

Thursday, 6th September, 9pm LP LIVE at Maya (Bombay Store, MG Rd), 150 bucks entry

Thursday, 13th September, 9pm, LP and Penelope Spencer, LIVE at The Sheraton, Jaipur

Friday, 14th September, 9pm, LP and Penelope Spencer, LIVE at Mirage, Crowne Plaza, New Delhi

(www.myspace.com/penelopespencer)


And one more announcement: Shatrix! released...George has gone bananas. Do check the website for the release of the new Piranha comic...


... and www.loungepiranha.com for one cup sykosis...
... and www.myspace.com/loungepiranhamusic for one plate music