I am you. And what I see is me.

Heartbroken

Today, I heard the story of my father and his brother and sister.

My grandparents (their parents) left a 5,7 and 8 year old behind in India to go to Africa and work for the British. It seems that the schools there weren't very good. So, the children were left behind in the care of relatives.

I imagine that the children were devastated.

My father was only five. Imagine a five-year-old being separated from his mother?

It seems that they were sent by train from Mangalore to Mysore and my uncle who was all of eight years old stood the whole way.

I'm sure they did what they believed was the best but...I think it was actually the worst

:-(

Category: Heartbroken

Phoenix

I don't know if anyone even comes here anymore. But if you do, I want you to know that I've started writing again. Here.

♥️

38

This year I forgot to mark the day on the date. So, I'm doing it now.

That's us celebrating with lunch at Harima  

What do I really want to do?

Do I want to do social work? No.

Do I want to help the less fortunate? No.

Do I want to help better the world? No.

I just want to do or make something clever. 

Bombalatty

I don't know why, but it's always fatso that like to point out that my dog is fat or make comments about her weight.

Category 1: Shadow
Category 2: Fatty fatty

Do you miss having a full night's sleep?

I don't remember what it feels like to sleep through the night. So, no. I don't miss it.

Ever

I have so much to write about. But I can't.
This is me, isn't it? So full of angst.
I wonder if I'll ever write again?

They don't know. They will never know. How much they are despised, disliked and hated.

Category: Obliviousness is bliss

37

I turn 37 today.
When I was 23, sitting in a club I didn't  like, drinking a  drink that tasted awful, listening to music that I hated, and watching  people who were scantily dressed and drunk, I promised myself that I would never do anything that I didn't want to do. I wouldn't cave in to peer or social pressure.
In all these years, nothing's changed.

Today, I asked myself what I wanted to do? What would make me happy? The answer was, clean the house :-)
At 37, nothing would give me more joy than a clean house. After that, I'm going to try to make marshmallow fondant.
What a way to celebrate the day 😁

We still say 'house'. Like any of us live in houses anymore.

Perhaps I'm a strange mother.
It doesn't matter to me if my child is good looking or not. Not that I mind if he is. The world will be a little kinder to him.
I hope, more, that he will have a strong but just and kind personality. That he will be self assured and intelligent. Do the right thing and be successful and hopefully happy doing and being whatever he ends up doing and being.

Now that I have a baby

All I can say is...
Thank god for unlimited storage for pictures and video with Google Pixel!

😁

My husband

My husband has changed a lot in the past year.
He's progressed from losing his shit about planning the indgredients for a meal to initiating conversations and having an opinion about furniture 😁

Neither of us has any experience with managing a house or a kitchen or a dog or a child. So, the way I see it, we're equally responsible for our flat, food and dependents.

Category: Progress

So, what do you do when your dog hogs half the bed?

Get a bigger bed, I guess :-\

My mother

My mother is so good. I'm feeling unwell today. I sneeze at 2:00 a.m. I hear my mother calling out to me to find out if I'm ok and if I need anything. I'm 36 years old. She used to do the same thing when I was a little child. If I happened to cough in my sleep she'd be there with a bottle of cough syrup.

I realise more than ever that only a mother cares about you enough to actually do anything for you. Not a father (not as much), not a husband, not your siblings.

You just have to

As I lie here, refusing to move to make dinner for myself, my dog and the starving streetie, I think about having asked that over-achieving woman how she managed or all.
"You just have to do it," she said.

Let's see how that pans out.

This

This is what life should be about.

Karma

"You look beautiful!" I said.
The unnatural black of her hair made her features look pale and delicate.

Category: 'Tis the season