Excerpt- Chapter 6

They all had their edges and her's was a jagged one. She stayed very close to it, waiting. She had no choice.

-The Story

Did circumstance cage me in?
Did I do it myself.


Category: It's only in your head

Currently I like green. Dull green and gold.
It isn't my favourite colour at all.
I like dull yellows too. And reds and blues and rusts.
For the moment.


Category 1: What's my favourite colour?
Category 2: Let's be dull

We watch every single movie that comes out.
I'm not entirely sure why.

Category: Avinash and I

I want an uncomplicated answer she tells me. Just answer, she says.
I can't.

Category : Things I'm incapable of
The question : What's your favourite colour?

Dilemma of the Day

Bikini or monokini?

Category : Hurray for summer
:)

Today's DIY

How do I remove super glue from clothes?

Note to self: Leave mochi work to the mochi because you're SUCH A FAIL at it

Mood: :/

Juvenile. That's the only word for it.

The Fundamental Truth

is that I'm a sore loser.
The government owns me.

Mood: Angry
X|

so you want to be a writer?

so you want to be a writer?
by Charles Bukowski

if it doesn't come bursting out of you
in spite of everything,
don't do it.
unless it comes unasked out of your
heart and your mind and your mouth
and your gut,
don't do it.
if you have to sit for hours
staring at your computer screen
or hunched over your
typewriter
searching for words,
don't do it.
if you're doing it for money or
fame,
don't do it.
if you're doing it because you want
women in your bed,
don't do it.
if you have to sit there and
rewrite it again and again,
don't do it.
if it's hard work just thinking about doing it,
don't do it.
if you're trying to write like somebody
else,
forget about it.


if you have to wait for it to roar out of
you,
then wait patiently.
if it never does roar out of you,
do something else.

if you first have to read it to your wife
or your girlfriend or your boyfriend
or your parents or to anybody at all,
you're not ready.

don't be like so many writers,
don't be like so many thousands of
people who call themselves writers,
don't be dull and boring and
pretentious, don't be consumed with self-
love.
the libraries of the world have
yawned themselves to
sleep
over your kind.
don't add to that.
don't do it.
unless it comes out of
your soul like a rocket,
unless being still would
drive you to madness or
suicide or murder,
don't do it.
unless the sun inside you is
burning your gut,
don't do it.

when it is truly time,
and if you have been chosen,
it will do it by
itself and it will keep on doing it
until you die or it dies in you.

there is no other way.

and there never was.

I think I'm going to let this little faux pas that's in fashion pass.

Category : Those funny pants that pleat and bloat at the hips

The small town smell of Vishakapatnam.

Paranoia dreams

Bigger than me.
Stronger than me.

Andrew: Radhika said she thought we were cousins.
Andrew: I said, good looks run in the family.

High five Ander Pander
(:

I'm trying to figure out what the best flight timing for me would be.
11am?

There is no rest for the wicked.

Me: Maybe next time round it'll be better.
He: What was wrong with this time? What do you want different?
Me: I want Superstardom!

Category: Superstars
:)

Isn't the contentedness that comes with mediocrity
just as awesome as the exhilaration of superstardom?

Category: Superstars

You'll always be ok.
:)

I told someone that I missed them.
I'm not exactly sure that I did.
I miss people rarely.
Or not at all.

"How old do you think I am??" I asked the boys as they seemed to be talking to me like I was a little girl.
One boy blushes and says, "Charming."
The second mumbles, "Sixteen."

Category 1: Sixteen and charming
Category 2: Other reasons why I love Chennai


:)
[I'm 30]

Anywhere and everywhere.

I don't care about good looking people.
I care about good people.

Law: Megan, why are you so...
Meg: Busted?

Category: Megan
Age: 5

Once you rule out the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth.
-Sherlock
:)

Where am I?


Category: Maslov's Hierachy

He is attached to me, the way I am to him.
I understand completely.

Question 1: Who is he?
Question 2: Who is him?

Fragile

The television on in a semi dark room, bereft of people, at five in the morning can seem pretty surreal. But that was the situation Friday morning as I left the house and as I stepped out of the house, the man on the TV said, don't carry your issues or problems with you beyond the end of the day.
So, based on absolutely nothing, I decided he was right.

About: My mom's yoga teacher

My own bathroom.
My own hot shower.


Category: <3

There's beauty in the breakdown.

How to kill a tree

The very first thing you do, is bring religion into it.
That's right.
A few years ago, maybe 3, my friend Gareth noticed a picture of a Hindu god at the base of the tree. He immediately took it and threw it aside, explaining the intention behind it. That is, a future area of worship. He said it could turn out to be a nuisance.
The next day, the picture was back there. Remembering what Gareth had said, I took it to throw it aside. When I did, this is what I saw, a certain kind of ant/termite, presumably meat eating because they were placed behind the picture at the base of the tree along with some chicken bones and sticky mud. (Yuck). Ready made start up tools for an ant hill/ future shrine to the Gods. The things people get suckered into praying to.
So the picture of God eventually disappeared but as it turns out, the termites stayed. And one day about four years later, someone discovered that the inside of the tree was rotting. So the forest department turned up, and cut it down. This tree that's been around all our lives. Just like that.
Just. Like. That.

I have a theory, that the state of your room reflects the state of your life.
Mine's a disaster area and I just don't feel like cleaning up. But I am.

What does your room look like?

Not enough hours in the day

-Should I sleep less?
-Plan my day better?
-Not meet anyone?

Category: Argh

Because it is

It's all for the best.

Loving my new love handles.

Category: About me
How to get them: Eat ghee EVERYDAY for ten days
Mood: Pretty darn good :)

My older Mallu born again believer roommate Sneha
trying to explain the meaning of 'hump'
from the Black eyed peas, 'My Humps'
to my Iranian roommate Saba.

She kept singing it the WHOLE time.

Category 1: My Humps
Category 2: Funny

I want out.
Of
here.

I have to get my mind together
and try.

Nothing matters today.
I don't know if this means
a)That I'm free
b)That my carefully built up world is crumbling OR
c)I'm pining for a holiday

Sometimes, now and again
When I remember who you were
And how we used to be
I miss you.


Category: Bison

Don't give me choice.

The truth is, I like children the same way I like people.
Discriminately.

Unakkum Enakkum

We, Arshad and I,were doing some work in the Beach Area and when we were done, he asked me if it was my first time in Chennai and I said, yes. He asked me if I'd been to the beach and when I said no, he asked me if I wanted to go and I said yes.

So, we got onto his yellow sports bike and went.

We sat on the shore and as invariably as always, a vendor came up to us. An old man. Only when he started to say things like, we'd have two babies, did I realize what we looked like, and worse, it was Valentine's Day. We didn't buy anything from him and so he went off cursing us, saying that evil wouldn't leave us.

The next person to come along was a lady selling peanuts, she dumped a cone of peanuts into the crook of Arshad's arm blessed us with a baby boy.

The lady after that, came and pinned/sold jasmine flowers into my hair without so much as an, If you please.

The last was a little boy. He tried and tried to sell something to Arshad who refused. While Arshad is refusing, the boy suddenly changes his voice and says in Tamil, Hello... I'm not talking to you. I'm talking to the 'pati'.

Pati can either mean a) Grandmother b)Item

Arshad suggested we leave, before his family and stock of junk food expanded to disproportionate proportions, so we did. Me, thinking about life and people and Arshad the ships on the ocean.

Location: Marina Beach

Is the bottom line that I'll be bored if I'm not being paid attention to?

Category: Bottom lines

"I'm going to retreat into this place inside my head," she said. "If y'all don't mind."
And they didn't.

I'm sitting on the beach,  talking to this boy about something quite possibly related to girls when he says, "Look." And I do and he points to a couple of ships on the horizon,  quite unrelated to anything I'm saying and I look at them and he says, "They're nice aren't they? "
Perfectly, innocently.

Category 1: Boys
Category 2: Yes, of course they are x)

I feel like my life could only have two possible outcomes relationship wise.
Claustrophobic or Heartbroken.

Category: Anything in between

Too wired to be tired.

I feel... I don't know if touched is the right word.
But I feel something close to that.

Category: This city, its people

Saar=Sir

Category: Madras

She could be wearing a bikini and she'd still look like a nun to me.

Category: Quotable quotes
:)

vapid

The woman, the woman.

-Sherlock Holmes, A Scandal in Belgravia

I put on a fake local accent because I can.

About me: Such a loser

She talks about soul mates.
I think about soul searches.

Some beautiful things from today

A train sunrise, an old colonial building a new whitewashed store.

Uncouth everywhere.

The water smells like sewage
And I smell like Chandrika


Yuck

Yank.

It's not the work that's tiring. No.
It's the people.

I'd like to say that fat people can't help being that way.
But the truth is, they can.

About: The fat person overflowing into my seat from his own

It feels strange and a little disconcerting not be wired.

Category: Bad, very bad

Let's get a little disconnected.

You don't always have to be beautiful.
Sometimes, you can make beautiful.

Just because someone says something about you unflattering or flattering, it doesn't make it true. Either way.

Category: Instructions to the children and the grownups too, I guess

The weaker strain of the species.


Category: Alcoholics

Actions speak louder than thoughts and intentions.


Category: The road to hell

How Beautiful

http://bonifisheii.blogspot.in/

Mediocrity or madness?

I'm tired of eating out.
I'm tired of eating.
I'm tired.
I.

Don't make sense anymore.

I've been finding it hard to hold
My train of thought
My temper

Bed=<3

Searching for the sun.

Some people are
Unlucky
In love

Most boring 45 mins of my life.
On the plus side, I am now white something or the other and glowing.
Just what everybody wants to be.

Category: Getting a clean up at Bodycraft

A man washes a dish and no one sees it,
it didn't happen.

- from Kate and Leopold

Category: :)

The butter in the house has been replaced with some Naturalite shit!


Category: Sacrilegious

I'd like to categorically blast all those burning bridges to hell.

I've always thought that when you're a loser, you lose.
So, why am I the one who feels at a loss?

Category: Loss

Stalk.

We cannot do without our boys.

Category 1: Truth
Category 2: <3

Imagine being married to a whiny woman.
I'd kill myself.

Category: Lucky for me, that isn't an option

There's no 'I' in TEAM
But there is a 'U' in STFU.
(Nitin)

Category: :)

-I don't want to sneak in.
=We won't sneak in. We'll walk in.



=Quietly.





Category: :)

Anomaly

I have more books than I could possibly read in a year and yet
here I am, as I type, buying more.

Kammi Illa Pa?

I don't understand people who insist on bargaining at a place where things are Rs 5, Re 10 and Rs 25 per kilo.





Category: Sunday Bazaar

I refuse to see what's right in front of me.

Mood: Shitty

You're very close to killing your cool factor.

Note to you: Be cool

Sometimes I wish I had a brother, or a husband. Someone taller. Stronger. To do the things I can't.

Category: Get strong

The straw that broke the camel's back.

The shiny new people that I've come to know are all starting to come off as juvenile.
The sad part is, they're all on the other side of twenty five. Some thirty.

It goes on and on and on

It begins.

(Toit)

(Toit)

And goes on.

(Picture missing)

(Chocolate mousse cake)

(Home)

And on

(City Bar)

And on!

(UB City)

(Breakfast at Cafe Noir)

Tag: 30

Grateful.Ungrateful

The best people

The only kind I know.

Time makes all men equals, doesn't it?
:)

Never, never, never quit.
-Chiron to Hercules, Young Hercules

Self

Category 1: Aware
Category 2: Absorbed

Goodbye

It was a good one.