Disparity

I don't think it's, 'I ought to know.' I think it's, 'I ought to know better.'

More than words

'Will you remember this for me?' I asked him.
I did not know if he would understand.
I was messaging him in the night. Messages back and forth.

Unusual, that. For me.

She came into my room and she said to me, 'What is it to see with your eyes? What do you call it?'
'I don't know, I said. 'To look?'
'Sight,' she said.
'And to see with your heart?
.. Insight,' she continued without too much of a pause.
'Don't forget, always see with both your eyes and your heart.'


I did not know if he would understand that she was giving me something.

I know. I always knew.

I just secretly hoped, that's all.

If I don't take a personal interest in you, I won't take an interest in you at all, will I?

98

Cannot be completely into anything or anyone.
Wouldn't have it any other way.

Early this morning I felt

alone

In his wide awake voice he says, 'I'm still sleeping. I'll call you in a bit.'
'Sure,' I say. And carry on with my day.

Thank God for women.
Thank God that there are so many in this house.

The Birthday Month

All the important people that were; called.
Some messaged, some forgot.

[For January 2006]

The heavy hand of security closes slowly but surely round my neck.

'Do you think you would ever want to leave here?' I asked her.
'No' she replied.
'Me neither' I said.
He looked at her and said,'You'll go places though'
Inevitable, her face seemed to agree.
'But you'll always come home' he added, subconsciously pointing to himself.

I liked that.

The normalcy


everything

I'll miss it


maybe

Did you notice how when I hug you I refuse to let you go.

Promises.
Promises to self.

She hangs on his every word.
I think I don't have words for anyone to hang on.
Bugger again.

Train people

They indulge me.